When Chaos Makes us Snap
About to Snap? Do THESE 3 Things NOW!
How can you create a barrier from negativity in your life? It’s difficult – we experience the idea of “should” in our minds. When something negative happens, we think, “I shouldn't be negative about this. I should change my mindset.” These moments come up, and we have negative thoughts or judge something poorly. You feel you’ve responded in a way that you’re not proud of. It creates this energy that sticks… then you look back and feel like you wasted so much time, effort, and energy on something that wasn't necessary.
You get to hard moments where you think you've prepared yourself but find yourself falling short of your expectations. You think you know; you have these great idealistic thoughts, and it just doesn't happen for you. And that's OK, it’s human. It's normal to stress, but you don't need to identify with that stress.
We FEEL that stress. Where does it come from? What can you do about it? It's OK that it exists, but how do we keep from letting it take us over? What can you do about it without getting so overwhelmed and expending more energy than is necessary? You must confront and deal with the actual situation.
Here are three things to work on to make a shift to manageable and tangible ways to handle the chaos - WITHOUT snapping!
#1: Know your boundaries. Through trial and error, you can identify when you’re agitated and overstimulated. Daily, you need 20-30 minutes of quiet time. Know your boundaries in all areas, from relationships, to yourself, your environment, your health, your schedule, your business, your finances, and all the important areas of life. Respecting those boundaries is #1, because when those boundaries are overwhelmed, the stress is too much. It's going to come out in some way. Managing what you can control is the best preventative to getting ahead of not snapping at all the little things. All those little things pile up, and when they make you upset, it’s because you haven't managed your boundaries.
#2: Create a process for when your energy gets pushed over the limit. What do you fall back on? What can you do to let the exhaustion through and allow the system to cool off? This process will get you back on your feet and let you readjust and reassess. Identify what you can manage and delegate. Most importantly: What can you let go of? What is the most practical thing that you can do right now – what is the thing that makes the most sense to get you to your goal? You must prioritize these, then cut out the excess and do the most practical thing moving forward. When you're in this state of chaos and stress, of triggering fear and negativity, you cannot afford to keep things in your space, whether it's on your schedule, in your obligations, or in your mind, that are going to promote more chaos and stress.
#3. Find your baseline. This baseline is not your ideal; it’s where you realistically are, energy-wise. Know your baselines in all areas and make sure that you check into those baselines. The baselines can move as you build resilience. Ignoring baselines leads to hurting yourself – costing you MORE time and energy.
Things get out of balance. Balance is an anomaly. You might swing through, hit that balance for a second, but you will always swing in and out; it’s ebb and flow. Understanding this, you must create those parameters for yourself, know your boundaries, have a process, and know where your baseline is at so that you have a starting point.
There are no shortcuts. It's about quality. Quality in how you take care of yourself, your attention, your time, your energy, and your schedule. It will help you avoid getting spread so thin that when something stressful occurs, you don't have the capacity to deal with it.
If you feel like you're about to snap or like life is just so chaotic and out of control, it’s because all these things have no boundaries. There's no quality. It's all quantity, which is like mass destruction for your energy. Finding your process, enforcing your boundaries, and returning to your baseline will lead you to regain energy, balance, clarity, and focus so that you can reach your goals, have success, and help everyone else.