Recently a beautiful lady wrote to me asking for detailed tips and advice I had on achieving life desires and being happy. I wanted to share my response with you :)
Thank you for reaching out to me :) The hardest thing to teach people is mindset. But mindset is EVERYTHING. Because without the right mindset you can change anything your heart desires and the problems will continue to exist, and in some cases, as you've experienced, amplify.
Money serves as a good mirror of the root of problems. Many things can serve as good mirrors; our children, our health, our relationship with our spouse etc.
When this presents itself, I take it as an opportunity to reflect and ask myself why this is happening. Not from a victim mentality of "Why is this happening to me?!?" But from a place of knowing that I have the power to change it. So I treat it like a job - "What do I have to do to fix this problem?"
Most problems are rooted from "stories" in the subconscious mind. Those stories are as simple as "I'm not good enough" "I don't deserve happiness" or "No one loves me"... These stories run deep and often our perspectives will go out of the way to prove it. This is no one's fault, it's just normal psychology running it's course.
So here is my step-by-step approach to solving problems:
1. I identify the story and I get really clear on whether or not I want to believe that story. (We do have a choice & everything is perspective). Stories, or our feelings, can give us understanding or empathy, "It makes sense I'm sad, my dog just passed away. That IS understandable." However, this doesn't mean that is WHO you are. And it certainly doesn't mean it's an expectation you have to fulfill.
Acceptance comes with choosing to let go of resisting what is or what was.
And here's the irony: When I want something to change, I often cling to the idea soooo bad that I resist everything around me. What's going on, how this person behaves, how I'm feeling, what I have or don't have, etc. Suddenly my blessings are hardly noticeable and everything that is wrong is experienced under a magnifying glass, generating more negative, resistant energy... hence perpetually feeding the problem.
2. The next step is to itemize; Separate what I want, versus what I'm experiencing. I will even go as far as "venting" in my journal my disillusioned story of hurt and negativity. Then when I've had my say, start a new page writing clearly what I want out of life and how it would make me feel.
3. Now what I do, is VALIDATE my feelings about the problem. It's ok to want something different, to achieve for something higher or a better feeling (notice how I'm not saying "to be stuck in a crappy place" or any other idea that disempowers me or feeds into the negative story).
4. Once I identify how I want to feel... happy, free, abundant... I take note of moments or things in my life NOW that make me happy, free, and abundant. And I DWELL on it. I MARINATE it... I soak up in the idea of it so much, I start feeling an overwhelm of gratitude.
5. The problem begins to look small and a clear path to what I want begins to develop. Not something I see with my eyes or analyze with my brain... it is something I FEEL. And I continue to follow this flow.
This is my definition of living from the heart. And the repeated process I take to not only see my abundance and feel my happiness, but to generate more.
Ultimately, you travel your own path and no one and nothing will save you if you're not willing to save yourself. It's a journey of building self-belief within and continually striving to change the outcome, by changing your thoughts and feelings.
Love and Aloha to you <3 <3